


We Could Raise Quite a Ruckus

by Robot_Face



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Earth C (Homestuck), Innuendo, June Egbert (minor appearance), M/M, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:18:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22440136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robot_Face/pseuds/Robot_Face
Summary: Jake has an offer for Dave.
Relationships: Jake English/Dave Strider
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	We Could Raise Quite a Ruckus

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure how to rate this. They do talk about sex a bit so I said mature but it's not like horny or anything

Dave cupped his hand around his ear. It was difficult to hear Jake over the noise of the party. 

JAKE: You know ive always thought you and i could raise quite a ruckus together!  
DAVE: a what  
JAKE: A hubbub! A brouhaha!  
JAKE: My television programming has been running out of steam lately.  
JAKE: It just needs a little bit of oomph you know? A healthy dose of chutzpah!  
DAVE: and you think i could be that source of chutzpah  
JAKE: Precisely!  
JAKE: Im familiar with your work dave. Who could forget all the zany hijinks of your fantastic sweet bro and hella jeff movies?  
JAKE: Those only existed on my earth of course but the exact man that created them is standing right before me!  
DAVE: so you want a sbahj tv show is what youre saying  
JAKE: No. I wouldnt dream of asking you to do that except on your own terms.  
JAKE: What i have in mind would be a little more along the lines of other shows ive done.  
JAKE: You know very personality focused. Scripted loosely to keep the tension going properly but largely improvised.  
DAVE: so like what you did with dirk  
DAVE: correct me if im wrong but werent those shows like a sex thing for you two  
JAKE: What?  
JAKE: No! They were just us horsing around! As bros you know!  
JAKE: The sex things were almost entirely nonbroadcasted.  
JAKE: Besides trust me dave if i were trying to replace your brother i would pursue rose rather than you! Ha ha!  
DAVE: ok  
DAVE: you do know rose is a lesbian right  
JAKE: Well i dont see what that has to do with being the co producer and host of a tv show.  
JAKE: Im an equal opportunity employer and all that.  
DAVE: uhhh excuse me just a second  
DAVE: someones pestering me  
JAKE: Of course!

TG: help me  
TG: june  
EB: are you ok?  
EB: i'm busy but if it's serious let me know where you are! i can be right there.  
TG: i cant tell if jake is flirting with me  
EB: ok dave i don't think i can help you with that!  
TG: please  
TG: youre the only person i know who it isnt weird to ask  
EB: i'd say it's still pretty weird! i have to go, bye!  
TG: come on june  
TG: jade doesnt know him well enough  
TG: i dont know jane well enough  
TG: rose wont be able to help with guys plus she fucking sucks at flirting period  
TG: you didnt have to be on the meteor with her and kanaya but trust me  
TG: and dirk  
TG: well thats just a minefield and id be walking right into it  
TG: that guys just all kinds of emotionally messed up right now i wouldnt even get to the actual part where i cant tell if hes flirting just jakes name would be too much  
TG: dont wanna kill the guy  
TG: june  
TG: hey  
TG: oh wait i could ask roxy bye

TG: yo rox  
TG: what up im literally at the same party as u  
TG: oh nothing much  
TG: just gotta keep it covert  
TG: i think jake might be flirting with me  
TG: wtf  
TG: are you kidding me  
TG: shit  
TG: is this a sore subject for you too  
TG: no im p much over him by now its just like  
TG: a retroactive wtf u know  
TG: thank god  
TG: there was nobody i could talk about this to  
TG: well im all ears  
TG: well the thing is i cant really tell if its flirting or what  
TG: hes framing it all around his tv network  
TG: he wants me to help make a show  
TG: oh those things were totally a metaphor for his relationship w dirk  
TG: i know  
TG: he insisted it wasnt though  
TG: it was just horsing around  
TG: airquotes  
TG: LOL  
TG: i think he does that on purpose  
TG: really  
TG: so when he said we could raise a ruckus together  
TG: he def wants 2 fuck ;  
TG: jk jk  
TG: with jake its real hard to tell sometimes  
TG: u gotta get good at reading double meanings  
TG: ok well how about this  
TG: right after he said the shows werent a sex thing  
TG: he says all his and dirks sex things were unbroadcasted  
TG: and then says  
TG: if he wanted to replace dirk  
TG: he would go after rose  
TG: instead of me  
TG: OMG  
TG: isnt rose a lesbian???  
TG: not 2 mention married  
TG: thats what i said  
TG: smh  
TG: then he insists he was talking about replacing dirk in terms of hiring for the show  
TG: which would make sense if he wasnt literally just talking about him and dirk fucking  
TG: i think  
TG: whatever hes talking about  
TG: you shouldnt worry about being a replacement or rebound or whatever  
TG: the rose thing was weird if it was about sex but he is basically right  
TG: roses writing style and general demeanor are extremely spooky in terms of like dirk similarity  
TG: ur creative style has its own identity that neither dirk or rose could imitate for a second  
TG: and in terms of dirk stand ins for sex there r literally a hundred splinters out there thirsty 4 jake and he knows it  
TG: ok  
TG: but is he flirting or not was my main question  
TG: uhh  
TG: so the thing is jake is never forward about romance  
TG: when he talks about it its like ALWAYS muddled up in these sorts of eufemisms  
TG: *or however u say it  
TG: so id give u a 99% almost definitely flirting  
TG: but he is also gonna be neck deep in plausible deniability and ready 2 dunk his head under  
TG: like to the point of self-delusion almost  
TG: liek if you decide all you want is a tv show he will convince himself thats all he was offering you in the 1st place  
(JAKE: Dave? You going to be done soon?)  
TG: so basically its up to u  
TG: thanks roxy  
TG: i gotta go but you were a huge help  
TG: np

JAKE: Are you there lad?  
DAVE: uhh yeah just finished up  
JAKE: So what do you think?  
DAVE: i think  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: i am interested yes  
JAKE: Excellent!  
JAKE: What do you think about a formal meeting on Thursday?  
DAVE: formal  
JAKE: Oh dont worry you dont need to wear anything fancy!  
JAKE: Its just formal in the sense that wed be putting the show down on paper. Making it official as it were.  
JAKE: Although you could dress up if you like!  
DAVE: oh ok  
DAVE: sounds good  
JAKE: Alright see you then at four!

And then Jake flew away. Dave stood around for a while, with the other people hiding in the corner from the party, trying to figure out what just happened. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter if you want @nonbinarylatula


End file.
